W Y N T E R

“All he does is cry, Rex! I just need a moment alone!!”

“Wynny, baby, what can I do?” my beautiful husband asked.

It’d be bad if I told him I just wanted him to take the baby and leave me alone for a few weeks or months, even. I just wanted to focus on my work and plan my next vacation, but nope… I was being milked like a cow, my hair was falling out, and all I could hear was Reylo crying even if he wasn’t. I was fucking tired, and I was tired of acting like everything was okay.

“Wyn, babe,” Rex calmly said, pulling me into his arms while he was still cradling our crying son in his arms.

“I can’t.”

I pushed away and headed down the hall to my home office. Spring had sent over some paperwork I needed to sign and send back. I printed the documents out, read through them, and signed them before I sent them back through the fax. It was my goal to just drown myself in work, and if the office was open, I’d be there to just get away from home.

Having a baby, especially after losing one, was not going as I expected. I thought I would be the best mama and want nothing more than to be with my baby all the time. The joke was on me. As much as I loved Reylo, I was exhausted with him and all the crying. A trip was calling my name and that’s when the idea hit me to hit up the girls.

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Me: in need of a trip to Vegas

Spring: I’m in Vermont until Tuesday

Fallon: Ugh, vacation me please!

Spring: What’d you have in mind

Summer: Seems like we all need some time away

Autumn: !!! Even with the sweet gesture of King, I still need to get away

Me: Well, let’s make it happen… like never weekend for real

Spring: You okay, Wyn?

Me: Just… Need a break

Summer: I can go the weekend after next

Me: I’ll be honest, this is an emergency need. So, if you can go Thursday-Sunday, let me know.

Fallon: In

Autumn: In

Spring: I’ll make it work

Summer: Say less, babe. I’ll move some things around. Do you want to talk about it?

Me: Nothing to talk about. I’ll send flight information, and we can work out the plan when we get there

Fallon: I have a hotel buddy in Vegas. If you book at the Palazzo

Me: Yeah, can you set that up?

Fallon: On it. But Wynter, we’re gonna talk about this. So be prepared.

* * * 1 Week Later * * *

The girls didn’t let up the moment we sat down at the airport. I tried my best to make it through the week, putting on a brave face with Rex and just dealing with Reylo, but I was crying in the shower and working overtime. At least the office would be back open on Monday, and I could get out of the house for ten hours.

“I might be going through my own shit, Wyn, but I know postpartum when I see it,” Autumn quietly said, causing the rest of them to zero in on me. I rolled my eyes, but she wasn’t wrong.

“Oh, Wynny,” Fallon’s thin arm snaked around my shoulder, “we’re here for you.”

“I should’ve known,” Spring said, grabbing my right hand and gently squeezing it. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, babe, but we got you. Okay?”

“Whatever we can do to help you, we will,” Summer added.

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The weight of the world was crushing me, and I was sobbing in the middle of the airport. How embarrassing.

“I love my son, and I love my husband, but I don’t know if this is the life for me. Reylo… he just cries and cries, and Rex was only given three months off of work to be there full time. Now, we’re both working, and we’ve had to switch up things because he needs to work late so we can switch off for Rey. My mama was supposed to be here, helping, but she’s sick and I don’t fucking know if she’s going to get better. Rex’s mama was here for two weeks, and I could live with her never visiting again. Don’t get me wrong, I love her... just not in my house. I am tired. And! My fucking hair is still falling out. I don’t even feel like myself.”

I was letting it all out.

“My boobs hurt all the time! It’s like the moment he starts crying, they start aching. I also really, really, really wanna fuck my husband, but I am so scared to get pregnant again. I don’t ever wanna go through this again, and I don’t even know how to tell Rex. He always talked about this big family with kids running all over and the thought of having more than Reylo just makes me want to finish the job and shave my head.”

“I know how you feel, Wynny. Postpartum depression is nothing to take lightly, and I wish you would have opened up sooner. You’ve been handling it so well it seems,” Autumn stated.

“Yeah, had I known, I would have been on your ass,” Summer added. “You know we got your back, and this goes for everyone. Don’t hide anything. Let the rest of us catch you when you’re drowning.” She was crying too at that point. “We’re supposed to be there for each other.”

“Well, I don’t want to rain on the storm, but I’m also dealing with some severe depression. I’m barely hanging on, but I’m trying for Augest. Being with Giveon has changed my feelings over the last few weeks and definitely reduced my stress. I’m just still missing something, and I don’t want to ruin our relationship with my bullshit.”

“We truly are some sad, boss ass bitches,” Autumn said, causing us all to laugh while simultaneously wiping away tears.

“Look, on this trip, everybody has permission to cry, drink, and just be. No phones, no work. Those men can handle their children, and those jobs will be okay for a few days. We need this,” I responded, making eye contact with all my beautiful friends so they knew I was serious. It was insane because I was barely being strong for myself.

R E X

Wynter wasn’t answering her phone, and apparently, none of the other girls were either. I sat outside on the patio with King and Cleo. King’s three were running around with Cleo’s kid, and mine was sitting in his car seat, watching all the commotion like he knew what was going on without him. I loved that boy, and I loved the woman who helped create him.

It wasn’t lost on me that Wynter was going through postpartum depression, and I had been handling it all wrong. I was hoping that her spending more time with him would help her get through it, but it seemed like distance was what she needed. I just needed her to answer me to make sure she was okay and coming back home to us. I couldn’t imagine my life without her and didn’t need her trying to hurt herself or anything.

“What’s on your mind, brother?” King asked.

“Yeah, man... You quiet as hell,” Cleo added, taking a sip of his Corona.

“Just trying to figure out how to help my wife when she gets back. Postpartum.”

“You definitely gotta follow her lead on that,” King advised. “Autumn went through it for two months after the triplets were born. Had to have our family help out around the house for a while with chores, taking care of the kids, and even getting her cleaned. Granted it was three babies; I get how postpartum is.”

“Similar to dealing with a woman who suffered two miscarriages. It’s like you wanna make everything in life better for them, but there’s no right answer. I agree that you just have to follow their lead and give them what they need. They’re not gonna heal on our timing, and we just gotta remain gentle.” Cleo seemed to be lost in his own issues. I knew a little about him and Spring’s miscarriages.

Cleo had moved on with life and his beautiful daughter ran about the back with the other kids. Lucky for him, I guess, Spring had let him back into her life a little. He’d been coming around a bit more, so I knew they were at least fucking.

“We got the mentally unstable, for sure,” King joked, but he was right.

“And I wouldn’t change mine out for another,” I responded, truthfully.

“Ditto, bro,” he agreed, lifting his bottle. “Ain’t Summer the only one of the five that's okay?”

“Not even close,” Cleo responded. “You forgot that girl got anxiety issues? She’s a force, but she got her issues too.”

“Speaking of, she told me her guy was supposed to be coming over. Neil.”

“I thought that was like her best friend?” King asked.

“That’s why I don’t fuck with that best friend shit between men and women,” Cleo stated. “Me and Spring were besties. Look how that went.”

“Yeah, I remember Wynter had a guy bestie. I wasn’t fucking with that at all. Had to step to him for real and tell his ass he had to fall back. Not on some insecure shit, but I know what a man interested in a woman looks like. Feel me? I ain’t like the way he looked at her. She’s easy to fall in love with… I would know.”

“You wasn’t wrong man. That shit dead as fuck,” Cleo laughed. “Hey, Claudi, give Suku the shovel back and play nicely.” He corrected his kid who pouted, something I had to laugh at slightly but then it kind of broke my heart.

I had a feeling with how this pregnancy and maternity went, Wynter may never want another kid, but I had high hopes for three or four kids. I’d have to get my mind wrapped around one child if that’s what she decided, but damn I hoped she wanted more at some point.

* * * *

The boys damn near spent the weekend over, and it was kind of cool having the time and space to catch up and talk out our issues. We even came up with some ideas for helping our women out. Neil was fresh with the idea of booking them spa trips once a month over the next half a year. Then we came up with Daddy Day that would give the girls a full free day to just be without the stress of motherhood. I wanted to give Wynter the space she needed, so I even adjusted my schedule, moving what I could to work from home. Hopefully, it all worked out.

I waited in the living room for her to come home, relieved that she didn’t run off on me. When she walked through the door, I rushed to help her with her suitcase. She was also carrying her breast pumps. She looked okay, but I wasn’t sure what she was feeling.

“Hey, baby,” I quietly said, trying to get a read on her as she set the things in her hand down.

“Hi, handsome,” she smiled, walking into my arms and wrapping her arms around my waist. “Missed you.”

“Not as much as I miss you.” I kissed the top of her head.

“How was he?”

“Same ol’ Reylo. Wasn’t too much to handle. How was the trip?”

“Beautiful, refreshing, lots of crying and really good drinks. The milk in the bottles is safe. I made sure to pump and dump the last of what wouldn’t be good for him.”

“Glad you enjoyed yourself. We need to talk.”

“That…doesn’t sound good at all.”

“It actually should be a good thing. I’ll let you get yourself together and we can chop it up before bed.”

“Or you can tell me now.”

She sat down at the kitchen table, not giving me any other option. I sat with her and went over the plan that was created in her absence. She seemed to be intrigued and pleased with the idea. It was followed by a small promise to speak up when she was feeling sad and or overwhelmed. She promised to speak with her doctor about a therapist as well. The shit made me happy, and I looked forward to our future, still hopeful that more kids were a part of that. I would take it one day at a time though.

“I appreciate you, and I love you, Rex. Thank you for thinking of me like that,” she said, straddling my waist in bed.

“We’re a team. We can’t make it if one can’t support the other. Always lean on me, baby.”

“Can I kiss on you, and” she leaned down, bringing her lips inches from mine, “ride on you?”

“Woman.”